69 days

It took me 69 days to realize that there wasn't going to be a call.
69 days feeling like I was going to fall.
Crying and trying not to cry.
Wondering and really knowing.
And has taken me 17 months (and counting) to regain all of my confidence.
17 months to know that it was for the better.
17 months of searching.
But it only took me about 69 seconds to realize that I was better off.
69 seconds to know that it's not too much.
It took me 69 seconds to realize that saying hello would have taken all of .69 seconds and I wasn't going to hear it.
69 seconds to know that not hearing "Hello" was just one more step towards regaining that confidence.

"...and you learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security...and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build your roads today because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight... And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong, and you really do have worth ,and you learn, and you learn..."-Veronica A. Shoffstall