Seven years ago, I met this guy. And I knew immediately that he was the one for me. I can't explain it, I just knew. I waited patiently (HAHAHAHA) for him. It took him a little bit longer, but I knew he was the one. Two years later, we eloped to Atlanta and said our vows in the rotunda of our State Capitol in front of God, State Representative Richard Smith, and about a dozen staffers from Governor Deal's office who were a floor above us snapping pictures. It was the most surreal, enchanting, life changing, happiest day of my life. It was perfect in every way. It was us.
I knew going into this union that children, raised by the two of us, was not going to be an option. And still I hoped. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth. I wanted a baby. I was exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was broken in my desire to be a mother. A year and a half ago, I wrote this. I have never in my life so completely given anything over to God. I begged Him to either give us a baby or take away my desire. I woke up one morning in Nashville, Tennessee and I realized that my desire was gone. I began to live life fully content in the path set before me. It was more than being happy. It was joyful, and believe me, there is a difference. The last year and a half has been busy, rich, fulfilling, and some of the best days of my life.
Now, here is the part where I give you the #realtalk. I am happy every single day. Not all day every day, but every day. I love and adore my husband. There are also days I want to strangle him, but that's just marriage. That's just living life with someone. In the last year and a half I have experienced deep and profound loss, I have argued with my husband, I have felt loneliness and despair over various situations. I have cried, I have been angry.
My life is not perfect.
No ones life is perfect.
It isn't meant to be. I mean, it was meant to be perfect. In the beginning. Before that dumb apple.
But I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the sheer and absolute joy I have experienced in the recent months comes from a total and complete reliance on my Heavenly Father. "Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before..." is an old hymn my dad used to sing to us. And it's true. In the highs and in the lows, it is sweeter, it is easier, it is better with Jesus.
He is faithful and a good, good Father.
I know this first hand. In my brokenness and grief, He gave me overwhelming, undeniable joy and a peace that passes all understanding.
He changed my husband's heart.
After a year and a half of being 100% content with the life He had for me, Randy surprised me a couple of months ago with the pronouncement that we needed a baby to complete our family.
Talk about tears. And overwhelming J O Y. I still can't believe it.
We started the process at the beginning of summer, finished the paperwork, completed the DFACS classes, and we are praying for our baby. We know, without a shadow of a doubt that God knows our baby. He knows if it is a boy or a girl. He knows it's birthparents. And He knows the timing of when we will meet our little one.
We share our happy news not to boast. None of God's faithfulness to our family is due to anything we have done. It is simply grace upon grace upon grace.
Would you consider joining us in praying for our baby and sharing our story? We are convinced that the more people know of our desire to grow our family, the more people praying on behalf of our kiddo, the sooner Baby Robertson will come home. If you know a L & D nurse, an OBGYN, someone who works in a crisis pregnancy clinic or center, please share our story and our desire to adopt!
We are eager to meet our baby, but firmly believe that God’s timing is perfect.